How to not go completely mental from it all - series

Sooo. A quick guide to salvage that bit of a brain, that still hasn't decided it would feel much better in the bathroom floor, sink, the bottom of a rum bottle or a bar restroom after your attempt to "clear your head" after a horrible week at work.

First things first. How much brain do you have actually left and is it worth trying to save it, or would you rather just be a happy drunk and not give a shit anymore.? Thats a fundamental question that you should ask yourself before starting this tour.
Because believe me, tempting as it sounds to be a "balanced" and "zen-like" individual, being completely oblivious to basically everything thats going on around you, thats deeper than a yesterdays football match, or alternatively a beer-pong tournament you held with your buddies, from which 2 of them are still missing, is not that great in the grand scheme of things.
So chose wisely, my padawan.

A'ight. Now that we have separated the men from the boys, lets dive in. And since we are the half brain dead monkeys, that actually still remember that 1 and 1 are 2, we gonna break this down to sections. And this will be a sort of on going poetry for the overworked, overstressed, hyper tense dumb dumbs, that couldn’t figure this out on their own.
Hopefully you are not all dead by the and of this series.

Section 1 - The morning horror